Nervous System Regulation for Leaders
Using Mirror Neurons to Build Calm and Connection with Your Teams
Do you ever start your week leading from a place of worry? Perhaps a lingering issue from Friday is bleeding into a new week. Maybe you feel a sense of urgency to meet a deadline, causing everything to feel hectic, heightened, and rushed. Perhaps a lack of boundaries has also resulted in a lack of planning, and you’re starting your week two steps behind. Regardless of the reason, when you walk into work, it may feel like you’re moving toward a ticking time bomb or like the train has already gone off the track.
It’s important to note that sometimes, a little acute stress is good for us. It’s true. A little worry or urgency can cause us to act and produce external results. When not checked, however, leading from a state of stress can also cause burnout, poor company culture, and disorder. So, let’s explore what happens when we lead from an unregulated nervous system and how we can learn to lead from a state of calm.
Leading from the Sympathetic Nervous System
The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is part of the body's "fight or flight" response. When you're leading from this state, your body and mind are primed for action, but it can come at the cost of calm, balance, and long-term effectiveness. Here’s what it looks and feels like:
What It Looks Like
Reactive Decision-Making
Decisions are made quickly and emotionally, often based on urgency rather than thoughtful analysis.
Over-prioritizing immediate problems while neglecting long-term strategy.
Micromanagement
A need for control due to heightened anxiety or fear of failure.
Difficulty delegating tasks or trusting others to execute properly.
Inconsistent Communication
Speaking in a rushed, sharp, or overly direct manner.
Misinterpreting feedback as criticism and reacting defensively.
Workaholic Tendencies
Pushing yourself and others to work excessively, ignoring the need for rest.
Prioritizing output over relationships or team morale.
Conflict Escalation
Viewing challenges as threats rather than opportunities.
Becoming easily frustrated or impatient with team members.
What It Feels Like
Physically
Increased heart rate, tension in the shoulders or neck, and shallow breathing.
Feeling jittery or on edge, as though you're always bracing for impact.
Emotionally
Overwhelm, irritability, or frustration when things don’t go as planned.
Anxiety about meeting deadlines or achieving goals.
Mentally
Racing thoughts, difficulty focusing, or a tendency to catastrophize.
A persistent sense of urgency, even when situations don’t demand it.
Relationally
Feeling disconnected from your team because you're focused on outcomes over people.
Struggling to empathize with others’ perspectives due to your heightened stress.
The Impact of Leading from the SNS
While the SNS can help you respond to short-term crises with energy and focus, operating from this state for too long can lead to:
Burnout: Exhaustion from sustained high-stress levels.
Team Friction: Strained relationships due to lack of emotional regulation.
Poor Decision-Making: Reactive choices rather than thoughtful, strategic ones.
Additionally, when we lead from the SNS, or a heightened state of stress, we can actually create emotional contagion, where team members mimic our own emotional state. As you can imagine, this can lead to additional team dysfunction, making it difficult to solve problems effectively. Let’s look closer at mirror neurons - the specialized brain cells that play a significant role in perceiving and responding to others’ emotions, behaviors, and states of mind. In the context of leading from a dysregulated sympathetic nervous system, these neurons profoundly influence leaders and their teams.
How Mirror Neurons Amplify SNS Leadership
Emotional Contagion
Mirror neurons allow team members to unconsciously mimic a leader's emotional state. If a leader is tense, anxious, or reactive, the team will likely reflect and amplify those emotions, creating a feedback loop of stress.
Example: A leader rushing to solve a crisis may inadvertently signal urgency and panic to the team, even if the situation doesn’t demand it.
Heightened Stress Response
When leaders operate in "fight or flight" mode, their body language, tone, and energy communicate stress. Mirror neurons in others pick up on this, activating their own SNS response.
This can lead to a stressed, less collaborative, and more defensive team environment.
Suppression of Creativity and Problem-Solving
Stress mirrored by the leader can impair the team’s ability to think creatively or solve problems effectively. This happens because the SNS redirects energy toward immediate survival tasks rather than higher cognitive functions.
How Mirror Neurons Support a Shift to the Parasympathetic State
When leaders consciously regulate their state and engage their parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), mirror neurons can also reflect and reinforce this calmer, more grounded energy in the team:
Fostering Calm and Focus
A leader modeling steady breathing, open body language, and a composed tone signals safety and trust. Team members mirror this and begin to feel more relaxed and focused.
Encouraging Empathy and Connection
Mirror neurons help team members pick up on the leader’s empathy and understanding. A compassionate leader creates a ripple effect, fostering collaboration and emotional safety.
Building Resilience
When leaders show resilience—staying composed under pressure—teams are more likely to adopt similar behaviors, reflecting confidence and an ability to manage stress effectively.
Practical Strategies to Leverage Mirror Neurons
Model Calmness
Use deliberate body language (relaxed posture, slow gestures) and speak in a steady, confident tone to communicate stability.
Practice Emotional Regulation
Manage your stress through mindfulness, deep breathing, or reframing situations. Your ability to stay regulated will naturally influence others.
Show Empathy
Actively listen and validate your team’s concerns. This fosters trust and activates the mirror neurons that reinforce connection and support.
Be Intentional with Nonverbal Cues
Smile, maintain eye contact, and nod in agreement when appropriate. These simple cues signal openness and positivity.
Conclusion
Mirror neurons act as a bridge between a leader’s internal state and their team’s collective energy. When leaders lead from the sympathetic nervous system, stress spreads quickly through emotional contagion. However, leaders can model calmness, empathy, and resilience by consciously shifting to a parasympathetic state, creating a positive and productive environment where the team thrives.